I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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