i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
