the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
