Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
