Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
