He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
