so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
