ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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