Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize