well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
