My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
