Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Pants are for mortals
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
