when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think your dad took our porno
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Who died my cat blue again?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
