You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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