Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
