I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
