i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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