hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
