worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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