we have pet lesbian snakes
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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