That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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