Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize