I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
