Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
two words...techno handjob
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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