The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
