Pappa wants mamma naked
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
