well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
