you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
