Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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