Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
