Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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