I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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