She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
