New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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