just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
dude. I can hear the air.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
