I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
