That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
