we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
porn star boner night. come get it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
