Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Randomize
