please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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