I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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