Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize