I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
