I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
