You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
