he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
