I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
