I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
