It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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