I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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