Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
