I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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