Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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