all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
