i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
