sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
