you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize