I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
