stop calling my apartment porn island.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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