I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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