just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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