Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
my poor anus
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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