I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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