woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize