yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
