Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
