i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
