Duck Duck Cougar?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
