I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize