I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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